Wednesday 19 February 2014

Hi Me again,
It's half term for me this week. I set myself the challenge of improving my maths. As a child I really struggled with maths. I found it difficult and struggled to learn at the pace of the class so inevitably I got left behind. At junior school my teacher, who I actually adored would practise recall of times tables by making everyone stand up and then he would walk around the room pointing with his ruler: "5 fives?" " 7 sixes?" this made me really nervous and played on my anxiety of standing up and having all eyes on me when the fateful questions was asked. If you got the questions wrong, you got to sit down and you didn't need to answer again. So my plan was to answer quickly so that I could appear to be trying my best, but then I could sit down and the pressure was off! As a teacher I recognise that this is not a very effective way of building the confidence of those who already lack confidence. It just makes those that are already confident more confident!!

So, having read Taming tigers - I acknowledged that one of my tigers was the fear of maths and my belief that I couldn't teach maths to Key Stage 2 children- (age 7+), I been working through a book written specifically for teachers to improve their maths so that they can teach maths effectively. I've realised that I actually understood  a lot more than I ever thought. MY problem wasn't that I couldn't, it was I wasn't very confident and wasn't very quick.  My husband has been helping me, he's a maths whizz, has replied each time to my " I can't do it!" with " YES you can! Try it!" and he's right- I can! I've learnt that just I lack confidence and speed. Also I don't want to write it down to help myself (I think that is another issue from school ) it feels as though if I write it down I am admitting I can't do it and I might lose face! Doh!!  Where as, when I jot it down , I'm fairly competent.

Rule #2 challenge the rule book!

My' rule book' says that I shouldn't write it down and look like an idiot! But I'm the idiot stopping myself doing things by adhering to these silly rules. All I need to do is practise in order to develop my confidence and speed.

Sunday 9 February 2014

Right, I've finished the book! What a fantastic read! Inspiring....and a little daunting to say the least but definitely exciting and daring!

For the past week I've been a little overawed by the goal for myself. I'm not wanting to become a jockey and ride in a televised race or become a deep sea diver and dive to a record depth! So I've been mulling it over and thinking about what I want.


What is my purpose? 
 
I've struggled to pin it down and then I realised that I don't need to have one forever goal I need to have a goal for now that I can work on and then once I've achieved that, I can identify another one which I can work on. 
 
So, my goal is to secure a Deputy Head Teacher ready for next September- This gives me 4 months as the deadline for handing in my notice is the 31st May.
 
 
 
 
 
Jim gives you seven steps to develop a plan
 
Step 1 Look out for what will bring you down
 
I know that in previous interview situations I have found the 'hanging around' an absolute killer. I find that it zaps my enthusiasm in such a way that I want to throw in the towel as I cannot stand the pressure. So one of my disciplines is to handle to stress of hanging around so I will be taking up meditating again which I benefited so much from over the summer but have let slip.  And I will look for situations where I have some hanging around so that I can practise- not sure what....any ideas?
 
Another issue is the time between the advert and the application. Often there isn't much turn around time to go and visit and write an application etc. So I know that I need to get certain things in place to support me. I also need to check for vacancies daily so that I don't lose valuable time but not being aware. I can do this by checking each day.
 
Something else that gets to me in the interview situation is the other candidates. In teaching unlike most other job situations you spend the whole day with your rivals often hidden away in a room together with no access to outside or anything else to do. I definitely need to come up with a plan to cope with this, as I hate this false situation where you try and make polite small talk or the heavy weights try and psych you out. I would just like to turn up do what's required and then go - and find out if I got the job or not. I guess the role is such a varied one that they are looking for someone who can cope with the pressure of the day as often days in school can be a bit like that with the varied roles of meeting people and parents etc. Food for thought... I should also ask and find out what others do in this situation to get themselves through. 
 
Step 2 - Use the rules of 'Taming Tigers' 
Well, these rules are becoming very much part of me- I nearly know them of by heart and all the time I'm looking for them.
 
Step 3- Write down your disciplines
Meditation- need to do it daily
RULE 7 Do something scary everyday- I can avoid scary situations but I need to get into the habit of doing and  not avoiding!
Write and follow my to do list so there is no conflicts of interest or time- it also means that I can be organised and in control.
Exercise daily- so that I help develop a healthy body and healthy mind.
Diarize my time so that I protect what I need to do and stay true to rule 3 head in the direction of where you want to arrive every day!
 
Step 4- Write down the 'WHY'
I want to work as a primary deputy in s school where I get to make a difference. I want to have the experience of being a primary deputy and be part of the decision making process so that I can have an impact and prove to myself and to others I can do it and do it well!
 
Step 5- Diarize everything and protect those diary entries
Meditation
Practise skills
Exercise
Support from others
 
Step 6 - Plan your BOLD ACTION
Strangely enough, a few weeks ago, before I read Taming Tigers, I took some BOLD ACTION. I asked a local Acting Headteacher to support me. She met with me and talked to me about what I should be doing. She asked me to see my last application and wanted to see how I tackled the person specification. I am meeting her this week and she will help me to improve my letter and sell myself so that when I apply for my next job I get to be their favourite. Big ask, tall order! whispers my tiger. However, I know that Rule 5 tells me that the tools for taming tigers are all around and that by asking for help I will gain.
 
 
I also know that I find the answering of questions tricky- I either waffle on and neglect to answer the question or  (usually as a result of listening to my tiger in the hanging around bit) I answer the question in a quick way as my aim is to get out of the situation and feel better! Not the most intelligent ways to get a job.  So  I need to find a way of answering questions so that I know what I'm answering and so that I am ignoring the tiger in the form of the Saboteur who is striking in the interview right at the point of being asked a question. 
 
Rule 3 says to 'head in the direction of where you want to be' - with this I have a new focus for my current role. Whatever I do from now on I will ask myself 'How will this help me to secure a job?' What experience am I gaining from this which I can use?
 
Rule 7 says to do something scary everyday. I know that this is a vital rule for me! Over the past few days I've been searching out opportunities to make my tiger roar and crank up the 'voice of the headteacher'. Jim Lawless talks about the voices in your head having two different personalities The first being the Headmaster who strikes at the point when you are considering things and the second is the saboteur who strikes when yoou are actually doing something. I've always had these voices who shout and scream things such as: "how dare you try and think you good enough to try this?!" or "But what if they all laugh at you?!" or " They all think you aren't up to it- you're not are you?!" Jim says that they do this to keep you safe but they also stop you from growing- TOO BLOODY TRUE!! I am not where I should be because instead of standing up to these fears and handling the discomfort I have given in and therefore I am at the tender age of 41 just beginning to grow- the growth that others do in their 20's!! My only solace is that according to Jim, some never wake up and tame the Tiger at 21, 41 or 61- NEVER!  Better late than NEVER!!
 
So watch out Tiger I'm a coming to get you!
 


Sunday 2 February 2014

Hello,
A whole month into the new year and if I'm honest it's been a bit wobbly!

I feel like I've lost the drive that I had in the run up to Christmas. Things have slowed and I have been in contemplation mode.

I think that I have taken my foot of the pedal and have lost  bit of the momentum which I had previously built up.

However, I came across a book which I read about on a blog by a deputy head.

The book was called 'Taming Tigers' by Jim Lawless. It has ten rules to live by and it id described as Richard Dunwoody (horse racing) the antidote to self help books.
I was intrigued! I duly ordered it on Amazon and it arrived about a week ago.


It's just what I needed! A proverbial kick up the bum!
I haven't finished reading it but it is a provoking read!

Here are the ten rules:
1. Act boldly today- time is limited
2. Rewrite the rule book- challenge it hourly
3. Head in the direction of where you want to arrive, every day
4.It's all in the mind
5. The tools for taming tigers are all around you
6. There is no safety in numbers
7.Do something scary everyday
8.Understand and control your time to create change
9. Create disciplines- do the basics brilliantly
10. Never, never give up! 

It's an interesting and challenging read. I am keen to learn and follow the rules but I have a very familiar tiger who roars loudly and is used to me backing down immediately as soon as it raises its head.
I love cats; in fact I love big cats including tigers. I need to tame the one who dwells within me and challenge it daily.
I aim to write about the process once I have completed the book......watch this space!