Christmas

My favourite Christmas that I remember as a child was at a very sad time in my life. In the October before, my mum and dad had split- not nicely! (There lies another story).

My father was a vicar therefore all our Christmas traditions were church based. We didn’t believe in Father Christmas as that wasn’t the true meaning of Christmas.

This year we, my younger sister and I, were bundled off to my maternal grandmother’s 150miles away from our family home. My father had left and my mother was working full time so we had to be looked after. My Nana was a practical but strict grandmother. We were kept very busy during the two weeks that we stayed with her. She knew that we were going through a rough time at home, but she was not the warm, cuddly type of Grandma. Instead of allowing us to express or work through our emotions, her aim was to distract our minds. During that holiday, we went to the church Christmas Fayre and bought presents for pennies. We went to see the Christmas lights in town. We baked cakes and mince pies. We played ‘ludo’ and ‘uno’. We went to the local shop and bought groceries on the written shopping list. We went to every carol service and Christingle service in a 5 mile radius. 

We made paper chains and other paper decorations. We decorated the Christmas tree and put up our homemade decorations.  As I said, we were kept busy.

Mum arrived on Christmas Eve, having driven the 150miles alone, only 2 months after passing her driving test. We were so pleased to see her and get a much needed hug.  We had tea together and prepared to go to Mid-night Mass. This was the exciting part of our Christmas. As vicarage kids we were expected to be ‘perfect’ and so being allowed to stay up late was very exciting. Going to mid-night was the most magical feeling for me, second only to the moment of waking up on Christmas morning and seeing some presents under the tree. I always loved the darkness of the December night and the coldness on your cheek. I loved going into Church and seeing the place lit up by hundreds of candles. It was the one time in the year where people in church seemed to be warm and friendly and display the type of love towards one another, which I understood to be the cornerstone of Christianity. (It was visibly lacking for the other 364 days of the year- I think the drop of alcohol that most of the congregation had had prior to the service may have helped that ‘Christian love towards thy neighbour’.) My sister and I sang the Christmas carols at the top of voices and people smiled instead of frowned.  I always loved mid-night mass.

Then, after the service, our family tradition was that when we got back home, we were allowed to open up one Christmas present. I would always pick a small gift that I felt was a simple present unlike my sister who would have opened all her presents if she had been allowed. For me, the delight was always in the anticipation. I liked that bit just before you opened the presents. I guess it was because it encapsulated all the hope and possibilities, whereas once you opened the presents, and ripped off the wrappers, it was there, in front of you: fact. It could no longer be changed.

This Christmas, the first with my parents in different parts of the country, was strangely the worst and best at the same time. The morning started with me being woken up by my mum. We had a limited amount of presents this year. Mum had sold her engagement ring to buy food and presents for Christmas. I had asked for a Walkman that year, but had not expected to get one as they were fairly expensive in 1982. 

However, I unwrapped the carefully wrapped present to discover a navy blue Walkman with head phones with bright orange sponge ear muffs. I couldn’t believe my eyes!! I loved it!! The present money ran on to buying just one cassette tape- Music on pan pipes. Actually, when I think about it, might have come free from a petrol station, but I didn’t know at the time, and wouldn’t have cared. It was mine; and I loved it. I played it over and over again. My aunt had given me a £5:00 WHSmith voucher and my Nan had knitted me a jumper. They were simple gifts but I loved them all. I couldn’t wait to spend my voucher on more cassettes.

Despite having been to Mid -Night mass the night before, we still had to attend church in the morning.  We went and once again sang the carols at the top of our voices.  It was then a busy family affair when we got back home to Nan’s house. I was on sprout duty and my sister was peeling carrots. We all mucked in. A Christmas lunch was enjoyed by the 4 of us. Just as the preparation was shared so was the clearing up. Before we knew it, it was time for the Queen’s speech. We sat and watched, then I was excused and I went upstairs to listen to my panpipes.

At about half past 4 I was called down from upstairs to help with the preparation for tea. We moved the furniture and covered the dining room table with a new clear Christmas table cloth. I collected chairs and stools from various parts of the house and outhouse so that we all had somewhere to sit. Then we prepared more food and covered the table with a buffet tea. My aunts, uncles and cousins were coming for a family party. I have 6 cousins and 4 lived just down the road with my uncle and aunt (mum’s brother). The other two weren’t able to join us as they were at their Dad’s house for Christmas. However, my aunt and uncle (mum’s sister) were staying in a local hotel and were coming to the party. There was a real buzz in the house. It was very different from our usual Christmases; traditionally Christmas was a time which seemed to involve mum and dad being extremely busy, and where we were expected to be ‘seen but not heard!’ This Christmas was different; there was a definite feeling of fun and laughter, and a real celebration of being together. We had a family quiz which meant we could win silly prizes. Then we played a game of pass the parcel, only it wasn’t pass the parcel it was pass the slipper. It also meant that when the music stopped, you didn’t unwrap a layer from the parcel, but took an item of clothing out of the black sack which was in the centre of the circle. Unbeknown to us, Nana had collected random items of clothing from around the house, items included: hats, gloves, skirts and even a couple of pairs of bloomers. By the time the music stopped for the last time because the black sack was empty, we looked hilarious and tears were pouring out of all our eyes due to the way we looked. There is photographic evidence of my favourite Christmas as a child. It is a photo which my sister has of all of ‘us cousins’ standing dressed up laughing and smiling, just enjoying each other’s company.